Written by: Joshua Keatts a.k.a. sm00th1 The sm00th d00d's bio huh? Yeah I know what yall are thinking...this should be some real interesting reading....HEY STOP IT!!! I didn't say you
could fall asleep yet....Well, nevertheless, present myself I shall.....Dang demanding audience aren't ya??
Me, myself and even I...Mr Joshua N Keatts, now 22 years old <==hehe
pretty old huh? I was born November 8, 1977...yeah I know what you are thinking...BIG WOOP I WAS BORN TOO!!! right? Well this is ME we're talking about..So shush and read up.. I was born...and where was it that I
was born you wonder? Well I was born and was raised, as well, imagine that 'me' raised, in the Great (actually it's a pretty average and boring place) State of Kansas (I usually consider myself in a state of
denial but hey, it's your call there!!).
Unlike most children I was a child prodigy....tough being the smartest kiddo on the block...just kidding don't I wish I had
been. Well you know how us "perfect" children (ME) are....THOSE WERE THE DAYS!!! Well that was when I lived in Wyandotte county...yes, yes a WONDERFUL county <imagine the crack house down the street and the
hells angels at the other end of the street> YUP those were the days!!! That was when I attended private schools (because my parents were afraid I'd turn into a biker chick or something)....I was 4 years old, I went
to Open Door Baptist Elementary School.....hehe oh boy times were great then!! I ran around care-free thinking that "The angels will do my school work" <== hehe I actually thought that too!!! My biggest
worry was, think of it fondly as I do, COOTIES!!! YUK EWWWW BLA!!! PATOOEY...hehe back then those YUKKIE girlies always chasing us war-monger, kickball playin, stud-muffins all around...hehe see if I play house!!!
Well that's elementary, and when, at the age of 5 I was cornered and kissed by Piper Noble (she was a cute blonde hair blue eyed 5 year old)...my life had just ended!! Oh man...maturation beginning hehe a tough life as
a kiddo and that was pretty much how elementary school went for me; I, constantly on the run from COOTIES!!!
OH NO!!! hehe not ANOTHER stage in my hectic nutty life....well
yes, I'm sorry to say...I was growing up...but mentally I've ALWAYS been 5 years old. OH Yeah...news flash for you: I will ALWAYS be 5 years old. Well back to the next stage in my life....Flashbacks to
Junior High haha things just got more complicated...NO WAY!! You don't say? Well, of course, I had to learn how to use a locker and go from class to class on time....too much effort and coordination recquired for
me there... Views on girls changed a bit...Cooties...maybe they don't exist....girls hmmm maybe they are there for some reason after all!! Well that was when "popularity" became an issue and when the first
"dances" and social activities started....AH MAN!!! I thought "Do I really gotta go and get myself a girlfriend?" oh wait...think of the ADVANTAGES...well they (the girls/relationships) weren't so serious then...have
lunch with them eat their desert hehe have them help you or do your homework for you.....yeah YEAH!!! that's the ticket!!! hmm kissin a girl...NA...well in junior high it was all a mystery to me but being integrated
into the, uh-oh PUBLIC SCHOOL system...well that was a real SHOCK to my SYSTEM...and I'm not talkin speakers here. Women maintanence then was a dream....Call her up for 5 minutes (always made her happy) say hi to
her in the morning (ignore her in halls and for most the day) sit to her at lunch (Free food, what guy was gonna give that up)....so that was Junior high it was all UTTER CONFUSION....
Let's take a moment to recap my..."eventful" LIFE....I was born...elementary school or COOTIES YUK....then there was Junior High "maybe girls do have some advantages?"....oh no but that's not
the end of my life we moved on to the GREATEST (according to old people) TIME OF MY LIFE!!! High School....I attended Olathe East High School...truely the opitomy of all high schools....Well now this 3 years was
interesting...it was "JOCKS", "GEEKS", and whatever....this is when the average girl became known to the gents as "HOTTIES" hehe and where cruising and TP were just everyday entertainment on boring days....this is where
"Going Out" turned into "Dating" and for the 'serious' (obviously me!!! **WINK**) "going steady" were developed.....As many of my friends, from high school know, I <==yes I be talkin bout me, was a social retard so
girls didn't matter, however, I did have my fair share of girl friends all 3 of them......YEAH!!! it's hard I tell ya...many I'm sure would tell you I'm the only virgin left on the planet....WELL SO WHAT!!! I may ALWAYS
be one if I don't meet the right girl...gonna wait till I'm married <==I'm startin to sound old fashioned now UH-OH!!! REALITY CHECK=====> REALITY CHECK====>REALITY CHECK!!!!
I'm now in a "new stage in my life"...and no I DON'T landmark my life by just GIRLS...but you know they do help me remember stuff...OK, now I get back to the bio...I'm now in College I
attended Johnson County Community College (yeah but we call it Quivira Tech)... and after 2 years of study there I transferred to DeVRY Institute of Technology... I'm currently studying girls I mean Computers. I
work at a restaurant called Ruth's Chris Steak House and have been working there for quite some time...I probably should have quit that job a long time ago...but then who can complain about a job that pays the
bills. I am a CHRISTIAN (whoah!! hope yer not too shocked) I do NOT believe in religion but I do believe in God and the Bible...My social life is a bit different from most students who are in college...that means
this NO I DON'T DRINK, SMOKE, DO DRUGS, HAVE SEX, OR PARTY....YES I'm a MOMMA'S BOY!!! hehe I KNOW you wanna be one too!!! If that's not enough I'm a cream puff mak daddy wanna be who'll never ever be!!! I'm just
an average everyday boring (some would say I don't have a "life" hehe who needs one then??) guy: )....YEP!!! that's ME (boring) I'm a hopeless romantic too I love to write poetry and in addition to all that; I
like computers pretty well....BOOM!! Augh!! I think it just crashed again (my computer that is) Oh yeah and if you want to know if I've got a girlfriend...Why I'm not sure that I do!!! have a wonderful family and
at the moment, don't laugh to hard, I live with my parents. You want a PHYSICAL description?!?! uhhh NO...but my picture gallery will give ya one better than I can....
And that's ME...deal with it cause I do.....
That's a wrap (no NOT saran wrap, but that stuff is fun) on the sm00th d00d's bio....
